Quora Answers: Narcissists And Hoovering



Why Do Narcissists Call And Say They Love You After They Discarded You?


After a Narcissist has discarded you, they will often call you or stop by for a visit with one goal in mind.

They want to suck you back into the nightmare of abuse.

This is what’s commonly referred to as hoovering.

They do it because it’s fun for them.

Narcissists become bored very quickly.

They seek entertainment at their victims’ expense.

By stringing you along with words of love and affection, they can tease you with hopes of reconciliation.

They’ll make you think they now realize how much you meant to them.

And that another try at the relationship will be different.

Make no mistake.

Things will only be better for a short time.

And it’s just an illusion.

Whether you know it or not, they still have other sources of supply.

Even during the renewed love-bombing phase, although they’ll never admit it.

If you allow the narc another chance to torment you, it will be much worse than the previous time.

Because now he has your permission to abuse you again.

They see your forgiveness of their bad behavior as acceptance of abuse.

So they’ll relish causing you as much pain as possible.

Please don’t fall for it.

Narcissists don’t change.

They do not magically transform into good and loving people.

If he’s telling you he loves you, he’s telling you he loves to use and abuse you.

I urge you to avoid any contact or communication with your tormentor.

If you’re still dependent on him financially, have support payments directly deposited into your bank account.

You will never be able to heal as long as he has access to your emotions.

That’s what he’s counting on because he doesn’t want you to heal.

It’s too fun for him to continue to hurt you.


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Originally Answered On Quora.

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