Quora Answers: May I Ask Your Advice? I’m Having A Really Bad Time After Being Discarded By My Narcissist Ex, And I Just Now Realized He’s A Narcissist.
First and foremost, have mercy on yourself.
Understand that you are not to blame for being conned by a narcissist.
So many people who have never been entwined in a narcissist’s web of lies falsely believe that it wouldn’t happen to them.
They are dead wrong. It can happen to anybody.
Prepare yourself mentally for pain.
Think about what you’re going to go through on your path to recovery in the same way you would if you just broke a bone.
You know you are going to face a certain amount of pain.
There’s no way to get around it.
So accept it.
Embrace it, even, as a valuable life lesson. And learn everything you can from it.
Educate yourself on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome.
Knowledge is power, though it’s not a pain reliever.
In fact, there will be times when the knowledge you’re gaining exacerbates your pain.
Accept the emotional agony so you can process it.
Allow yourself to cry, scream, and rage when you get the urge.
Find a safe place so you can get it all out.
Purging the negativity is essential and you can’t do it if you restrain yourself.
Be open to new coping strategies.
I took up kickboxing and found it to be very helpful in releasing pent-up anger and rage.
I also find music to be therapeutic.
Everyone deals with things differently, so what works for some people won’t necessarily work for others.
But there’s one thing that is true for everyone.
If you don’t allow yourself to feel the pain, the humiliation, the loss, and the grief, you will not be able to heal.
Your spirit and soul are wounded.
Just like with a broken bone, you won’t recover without facing some necessary pain.
Accept that knowledge and give yourself the time and self-care that are necessary for a full recovery.
Originally Answered On Quora.
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