Quora Answers: Your Pain Is The Narcissist’s Pleasure

If You Cry In Front Of Your Narcissist, Does This Affect The Way They Treat You?

Does It Affect Them At All?


Oh, it affects them, alright. But probably not how you’d think.

And definitely not the way a normal person would react.

My Malignant Narcissist ex-husband got off on making me cry. Literally.

Bringing me to tears was like the equivalent of discovering The Holy Grail.

He actually became sexually aroused when he was able to evoke such a reaction from me.

I’m not a crybaby, by any means, but when my anger or frustration pass a certain point, I cry.

I’m not talking about “Poor Me” tears. These are tears borne of a murderous rage.

Believe me, it’s not a pretty sight.

My eyes become a really bright, almost unnatural-looking shade of green.

I practically turn into Medusa, so there’s no hiding my feelings.

Granted, it takes a lot for me to get to that point.

Looking back at some of the shit I endured, I’m surprised I didn’t cry more.

Narcissists get bored easily and intentionally create unbearable situations for their victims.

It’s entertaining for them to create chaos, drama, and misery for others.

They push people past their breaking points in order to get an emotional reaction.

Once a victim snaps, the narc sits back and enjoys the show.

My ex is twice my size, and when he hit me, it hurt. Really bad.

But I wouldn’t cry.

So he’d step things up a bit. Maybe throw hot chili in my face. Or pour an entire Coke over my head.

If that didn’t work, he’d bend my fingers back far enough to break them.

Or drag me around the house by my hair.

The point is, he was willing to do anything to make me cry. He wouldn’t stop until he achieved the desired result.

He had to break me. Break my spirit.

That was always his end goal, and he pursued it relentlessly.

Not that he didn’t enjoy inflicting the pain. He most certainly did.

It was the icing on the cake. But it didn’t compare to the thrill he got from breaking my spirit.

To him, making me cry meant he’d succeeded in proving his superiority. It was his way of showing me that he was in control.

He controlled my tears. He controlled my emotions.

He controlled me.

Ultimately, that’s what it’s all about for a Narcissist.

Control. It’s what they live for.


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