Quora Answers: The INFJ Door Slam


Is My INFJ Really Done Or Just Upset? He Broke Up With Me Because I Made Him Feel Distant, But Is Allowing It To Be Open To Change. Could He Just Want Me To Understand The Issue? Or Is This A Door Slam?

It sounds to me like your INFJ wants you to better understand the issue.

Breaking up with you was probably intended to motivate you into correcting the problem.

He’s letting you know this is an ongoing conflict, and it’s a game-changer for him.

Fix it or learn to live without him, because he feels very strongly about it.

INFJ’s don’t just break up with people for the hell of it.

He needed to do something relatively extreme to show you the importance of resolving the problem.

If he didn’t want to work it out, he wouldn’t be open to change.

When I truly door slam someone, I end all forms of communication, and they become nonentities.

It’s not something I do lightly. And it’s pretty much written in stone.

Once I get to that point, I couldn’t change it if I wanted to.

It’s like something inside me has been altered, and I have no control of it.

It just happens, but it’s as final as death.

I don’t know if this is true for your INFJ. It probably is, though, and he’s trying to prevent it.

He cares enough about you to try to stop it beforehand.

If you love him and want to keep him in your life, fix the problem.

Otherwise, you may see a true INFJ door slam.

And there’ll be no question about its authenticity.


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