Quora Answers: Why Did I Ignore All The Red Flags?



Why Did I Stay Knowing She Was A Narcissist?


Most likely, for the same reason I did.

Because the benefit of being in love was worth the risk that your instincts were wrong.

In the beginning, you had no idea what kind of hell was in store for you.

How could you have known?

Normal people simply don’t think about choosing a victim to fuck over in every possible way.

It would have been inconceivable to you that the person who mirrored your best traits was actually the devil in a red dress.

In hindsight, it’s much easier to recognize the warning signs you ignored.

Even if you suspected she was a Narcissist, you probably wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially if you cared deeply for her.

You were in love and warning signs weren’t really proof of anything.

Keep in mind that Narcissists create an attachment with their victims quickly during the lovebombing stage.

For her, it was a manufactured bond.

For you, it was real.

Once you’re emotionally invested in a relationship, it’s extremely hard to walk away.

You probably thought she could change and remained hopeful that things would be okay eventually.

Now you’re aware that Narcissists destroy lives and spirits.

Hopefully, you’ll be better able to acknowledge any warning signs that arise with any new relationship.

Just make sure not to ever ignore your instincts again.

With that said, I should warn you about the possibility of becoming too cautious.

There’s a fine line between wanting to protect your feelings and alienating someone who means you no harm.

After the hell I went through during my marriage to a Malignant Narcissist, I was terrified of getting hurt again.

Now I’m engaged to a wonderful man.

Ironically, I was suspicious of his motives for a long time for that very reason.

He seemed too wonderful, a real-life Prince Charming.

The problem was that I no longer believed in fairy tales, and he was just too good to be true.

Fortunately, he understood my fears.

He knew what I’d been through and was very patient with me.

But in all honesty, I gave him hell.

It’s very hard to open yourself up again after a narcissistic relationship.

Even if you want to trust your partner, seeds of doubt still grow.

You just have to learn to find the right balance between the past and the future.


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