Not all narcissists turn violent during arguments with their partners.
Those who do won’t necessarily become violent every time.
As much as I like to spread the word about the misery that narcs cause, it would be misleading to say that even Malignant Narcissists turn violent every time they argue with their partners.
The knowledge that I have about narcissism is based on both firsthand experience and extensive research on the subject.
Most Covert Narcs don’t turn violent themselves, although they are definitely capable.
They will, however, hire someone to perform acts of violence on their behalf, or simply persuade a Flying Monkey to do the deed.
When this happens, the argument that precipitated the narc to resort to violence will have been forgotten by their partner.
Yet, the entitled narc may still seek retribution.
Another alternative to violence that narcissists use is extreme verbal abuse, which can be every bit as painful as a physical blow, if not more.
Malignant Narcissists are by far the most likely to turn violent with their partners, and do so on a regular basis.
Their partner will definitely know what they are capable of, having been shown by the narc many times before.
Because of this, the narcissist may get enough sadistic pleasure just by seeing the fear and apprehension in the eyes of their partner.
So they don’t feel it’s necessary to resort to physical violence that particular time.
A mistake I made when I was married to a Malignant Narc was thinking that he’d changed his ways and would no longer assault me.
He had managed to go several years without physically abusing me, so I thought that particular nightmare was a thing of the past.
We got into an argument one morning and I stood my ground, not realizing that I was awakening the sleeping giant with my words.
I learned that day never to assume that the narc’s physical abuse was over after an attack that resulted in my neck being broken in three places.
Narcissists may not become violent every time they argue with their partners, but when they do, it’s wise not to underestimate their propensity to cause extreme harm.
Originally Answered On Quora.