It really sickens me to say this, but it’s the horrible truth. Being the child of a malignant narcissist doesn’t differ all that much from being their romantic partner.
The biggest difference is that, as a
wife, I had experienced happiness and joy before my marriage. As the child of a malignant narcissist, my son never really has.
My Malignant Narcissist ex-husband abused both of us in every way imaginable. And in some ways that are unimaginable. We both suffer from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome and Complex-PTSD.
As an adult, I have better coping skills than my 14-year-old son, who is autistic. When I started typing this answer, Colton came into my room.
I read this question to him and asked his opinion. The things he said ripped my heart out and made me cry.
“Having to watch the only person who’s ever cared for me get beaten and choked in front of my eyes made me hate that bastard so much.
I want to kill him.
And I don’t mean quickly. He deserves to die slowly and painfully for what he’s done to us.
All those times he choked you and dragged you around by your hair. And poured drinks on your head. And broke your neck.
All those horrible things he said and did to you. For doing all that, he needs to suffer. Really suffer. Like we have. And there’s more.
Having a dad like that makes you not trust the world or society. The cops and teachers and judges did nothing to help us. Most of the time, if the cops got called, things got worse.
They acted like they didn’t believe you, or that you were crazy. And they even threatened to take me to jail when I tried to tell them Chuck was lying.
Having a monster for a dad makes you hate yourself. And not being able to protect your mom when she’s being strangled and beaten makes you feel worthless.
It makes you have so much anger and rage inside that you just want to scream every day about how fucked up the world is. It’s why I don’t believe in God.
I know you don’t like for me to say that, but really Mom, would you still believe in God if you were me?”
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