Do you know why he did what he did to you? Because he could.—Karishma Magvani
The silent treatment is a form of covert abuse that tortures you with your own thoughts. Also called ghosting, narcissists disappear without warning, remaining incommunicado for days, weeks, or even months. They won’t answer your calls or respond to your messages, leaving you to wonder what you did wrong, and how to make it right.
At first, you worry that something bad happened to them. Your mind searches for a logical reason for their absence–a car wreck, sudden illness, kidnapping, anything to explain the silence. The longer it goes on, the more unhinged you become. Your emotions range from fear to anger, and finally, to desperation.
Without knowing it, you’re doing exactly what the narcissist intended when the decision was made to ghost you. Driving yourself crazy.
Without saying a word, he’s able to abuse you from a distance. Plus, he’s free to groom your replacement with no interference. Though he won’t acknowledge your desperate messages, he’s reading them. He’s showing them to the new supply as proof that you’re obsessed with him.
When he finally returns and ends the silence, he’ll use them against you. He’ll blame you for making him leave. You’re too clingy, paranoid, and overbearing, so he had to get away for a while.
You’ll be so relieved to have him back that you won’t question the insanity of what he’s saying. And you’ll go out of your way to please him, providing him with high-quality narcissistic supply. Until he gets bored, and the silence begins anew.