Quora Answers: Why Do Narcissists Set Out To Destroy Holidays And Birthdays?
Narcissists use covert sabotage to deliberately ruin holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. Why? Because they want to ruin your happiness and keep the focus on themselves.
Narcissists are very jealous people who demand lots of attention. They don’t want to share the spotlight with anyone. If it’s your birthday, the attention will be on you, not them. They find that unacceptable, so they do whatever is necessary to change it.
Narcissists Create Arguments To Steal Your Joy
Let’s say your parents are throwing a big party for you. You’ve been talking excitedly to your family and friends about it for the past week. The Narcissist heard all this and seethed inside.
For one thing, it pissed him off that your attention wasn’t on him. And because Narcissists don’t experience joy, they don’t want you to, either. While you were looking forward to your birthday party, he was looking forward to ruining it.
He may plan to start a nasty fight the morning of the big day. He’ll use word salad and circular conversations to drag out the unpleasantness right up until the event.
By doing this, he creates chaos, which dampens your spirit and saps your energy. Plus, your focus is on him. Once again, he is the center of attention.
He accomplished both goals. He got the attention he craved, and he robbed you of your joy and happiness. You no longer look forward to the party. Instead, you’re now dreading it.
More Examples Of Covert Sabotage
There are many different ways Narcissists use covert sabotage to ruin special occasions. They’ll hide your car keys to make you late or prevent you from attending an event. They may “accidentally” spill a drink on your new outfit, dismantle your car, or even put something in your food to make you sick.
If you’re looking forward to seeing your sister at a family reunion, the narcissist may suddenly confess that she hit on him at the last family reunion. He never mentioned it before, but now he thinks you should know.
You don’t want to believe it, but he’s so convincing. Besides, he’s your husband. He wouldn’t tell you something like that if it wasn’t true. Right?
I know how crazy it sounds, but a Narcissist will do or say anything to sabotage your happiness. By the way, the above scenarios aren’t just random examples off the top of my head. They’re from personal experience, courtesy of my Malignant Narcissist ex-husband.
Originally Answered On Quora.
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