Good Rules For Quickly Becoming Your Most Awesome Self

Serena’s Site Rules For Visitors

I’m not really a big fan of rules, but I figured I needed some basic guidelines for visitors to this site. That way, anybody who stops by will have an idea of what they’re getting into.

Plus, they’re good rules. I think everybody should follow them.
Serena Prince

Alt= Serena’s Site Rules for visitors. My sense of humor may be offensive to others.

*Please Note: We’ve updated our site rules, effective 12/3/21.

Alt = Warning My sense of humor may hurt your feelings.

Disclaimer: I post content that may be offensive to people with a stick up their ass. If this includes you, please go away. Otherwise, kindly remove your stick before proceeding. I am not responsible for replacing your underwear if I shock the shit out of you.

Rule One – A Good Sense of Humor Is Required.

Twisted is preferred, but untwisted is fine. We accept all kinds.

Alt= I’m not sick. I’m twisted. Sick makes it sound like there’s a cure.

Rule Two – No Jackasses Allowed.

Not to be confused with regular ole donkeys, because they’re welcome here. As long as they’re well-behaved and don’t doodoo on the floor.

Rule Three – Perverts Are Allowed With Prior Approval.

Anyone sending pecker pictures will be banned. I don’t like strange weiners in my inbox.

alt = She looks innocent but inside she’s a perverted demon.
Just kidding. I know I don’t look innocent.

Rule Four – Visitors Must Love To Laugh

Rule Five – No Live Chickens, Narcissists, Or Other Kinds Of Monsters.

Fried chicken is okay, if you bring your own, since I’m not much of a cook. Plus, we don’t exactly have a kitchen, since this is a website. Anyway, just make sure the damn chicken is already cooked.

Rule Six – Visitors Should Expect An Abundance of Sarcasm.

See examples below.

Rule Seven – No Sweeping.

This is a precautionary rule, since I’m clumsy. I could accidentally drop another urn. And I’m still traumatized after what I did to poor Grandpa Fred. May he rest in peace.

Rule Eight – Must Be Willing To Do Crazy Shit.

Maybe I didn’t actually buy the bus. But grand theft auto sounds kind of bad. Anyway, if you want to hang out with me, there may occasionally be some sketchy shit involved. Okay now, who’s joining me?

Rule Nine: No making fun of my mannequin’s tiny head.

Rule Ten – No Complaining About Dumb Shit. Positive Attitudes Only.

On second thought, just don’t complain about anything. It’s so much better that way.

Radiate Positivity.

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